Where have the months gone?

I just finished uploading the pictures I've taken since the first of January. I'm sad to say there are not many. In fact, there were absolutely none between January 19th and April 12th. Sure my life was filled with chaos and it was all I could do to make it through some days but is that any excuse to neglect my children? Okay, I wasn't negelcting them but I hate these huge gaps in our history. I know that no one likes to dwell on the negative things but its as though nothing existed for a few months. I guess what I really hate is that even though I didn't take a single picture, I have a visual reminder of a time I'd like to forget. A time I'd like to have just gotten through and been done with. Yet, there it is. A reminder of what was and a reminder that I wasn't the mom I should have been for my kids. I hope that in the end they will have grown during those months just as I did.